Uuurrrggghhhhhhh. I am not feeling great and find myself writing this mainly because I am determined to maintain my streak until the end of the year. Probably not the best reason but a reason nonetheless.

I’ve returned from New York under the weather and with my blood sugar seriously out of whack – not surprising given I diverged from my diet a lot over there and haven’t done a great just getting back on track since I returned but not much fun even if it isn’t exactly a shock. It also triggered some moping about the anniversary of getting hit by a car and the subsequent operation to rebuild my foot – which I’ve never really, totally recovered from and which acts as a mental milestone as the start of my current health issues (even though that isn’t really true – just a convenient event to blame.)

Before New York I wrote about being a slightly weird headspace work wise and that has continued. It is odd because I am enjoying the main tasks on my slate as Product Lead – and this week I was asked to get more involved in the bit I am enjoying most which is exciting and I’m also very interested in the imminent outcome of the Digital Centre of Government work and seeing what that does to reboot and re-energise the community. So why aren’t I feeling more inspired or energised? Some of it is obviously the health stuff of course but some of it is 25 years is a long time to have been walking the same professional path I think – particularly such a narrow one – and seeing so many of the same issues, challenges and opportunities get discussed takes a bit of a toll.

Also to be entirely, overly open a big part of my motivation for work for a long time was I was always on the brink of financial disaster! I always spent more than I earned so was driven by fear of the consequences of not building a bigger income to cover the looming debts. Those days are thankfully over and while I certainly don’t miss the anxiety I am aware it is a big change in my psyche.

Huh. Just need to get my shit together.

I’ve decided that is Trump gets in then I’m going to make Nashville in December my last US trip for a while – even skipping the ATX TV festival in May.

Not sure this was really worth writing but the streak continues – next week will be better!